Just like Old Times
by CubbiesGirl
Summary: It has been one wild ride for Bonnie McCullough.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I'm not going to lie, I'm so scared to post this that I'm literally shaking as I type this, but it's 12:00 at night and I'm a bit delusional so I've decided to post this. I love Bonnie to pieces and I feel she needs retribution almost. If this is way too out of character or just plain awful do not hesitate to tell me. Any way, here it is, in all its rough edge glory.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, which is probably a good thing.

Chapter 1

Bonnie McCullough pulled self-concisely at the small piece of material that was currently covering her body. Bonnie had certainly worn more revealing articles of clothing in her career as an actress, but it never seemed to get an easier. She had donned the short, black Valentino dress earlier in the evening thinking it to be the most sensible for the function she was attending; flashy but matching it with a pair of small Gucci heels she had managed to add a sense of casualness to it.

Bonnie stopped fidgeting when she felt the hand of her co-star from her latest film rest reassuringly atop her own.

"Chill Bon, it's going to be great. The public loves you, no one would dare write a nasty review about 'America's Sweetheart.'" Samuel Hill flashed a comforting smile towards Bonnie. She tried to return the smile, but the butterflies in her stomach prevented it from reaching her eyes. "Bonnie" Sam replied, drawing out her name like a parent reprimanding a child.

"I know, I know." Bonnie relented. "I just can't help it. They say the reviews are the hardest to take, but this is the part I dread the most. I mean, Sam, these are our friends; it's their opinion that means the most to me." Bonnie turned her head to look out the tinted window of the limo, contemplating for a moment, throwing herself into the crazy L.A. nighttime traffic.

"You need to chill miss drama queen." Sam replied, earning himself a mock glare from Bonnie. "They'll love it. And if they don't, screw them! You still get a nice pay check and any man you want." Sam continued with a wink. Bonnie knew he was right. The same feeling plagued her every time she attended one of her own movie premier's; she kept waiting for the day it would subside but it always came.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked with concern in his voice. Bonnie noticed they had arrived and looked past Sam to the lights and people awaiting her outside. 'You're being ridiculous McCullough!' Bonnie chided herself. "Of course, I'm just being silly" Bonnie replied with a smile slowly growing on her lips, this time lighting up her eyes.

Excitement began to mix with the fear that had dominated her a second ago. Sam stepped out of the car and extended his hand to help her out as well. She accepted the hand offered to her and slid gracefully out of the limo. The young actresses smile grew wider as she stepped out onto the red carpet and took in the sight before her and drank in the sound of people screaming her name. 'Now this is the life.' Bonnie thought to herself, and she proceeded down the red carpet, flashing a smile for the cameras and flipping her curly red hair over her shoulder when she turned.

Author's Note: I know the idea is rather far fetched and I have only a vague idea of where this is headed, but I just kept thinking that Bonnie needed a guy and a happy ending as well. I'm pretty sure this is going to be Damon and Bonnie, but the idea of writing Damon definitely intimidates me. I'm not sure I can do justice to his complex character, but I guess I'll find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Bonnie walked into her spacious Palm Springs home. It seemed out of the way to most who visited, and there were times that even Bonnie cursed its location from L.A.'s prime shopping spots. Most of the time though, she liked the properties desert setting; especially on nights like this.

'What a night.' Bonnie thought as she made her way to the master bedroom. She lingered in the doorway for a minute, taking in the emptiness of the large room. Bonnie felt something pull at hear heart and for a moment she let herself wish that she could someday she her large bed with a husband, or at the very least a committed boyfriend.

"Silly girl." Bonnie whispered to herself. 'A man would only hold you back' she finished in her head. With that Bonnie made her way to the bathroom where she drew herself a hot bath in the deep tub. She stripped down to her underwear and her bra, examining herself in the mirror that took up almost a whole wall. She pinched at the invisible fat at her sides and then leaned in closer to inspect the dark circles that seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face these days. 'Lovely, just lovely.' She thought with aversion.

Bonnie finished undressing and climbed into the hot water, letting it soak into her skin and wash away the grime the city air left on her skin. Closing her eyes she took a big breath and quietly dunked her head under the water, letting the stillness surround and calm her. 'I should get a dog.' She thought, toying with the idea. 'Maybe I'll get a cute little one like Haley's…'she continued, but then let the thought drift off as she emerged from the water. She pushed her mass of dripping red hair behind her ears, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Not thinking, just simply existing.

Bonnie could feel herself slipping into a dream world and was perfectly content in staying put when she heard the distant sound of her cell ringing. With a groan, she lifted herself from the tub and wrapped a towel around her body. She rushed to grab her cell where it lay on her bedside table before it quit ringing. She grabbed it just in time and flipped it open, greeting the caller with a winded "Hello?"

"Where were you? Why are you out of breath?" Bonnie smiled at her friend's questions.

"Hey Meredith. I was just soaking in the tub and I had to jump out to find my cell." Bonnie replied, answering her old friend's questions.

"Oh. Anyway. Bonnie you'll never guess what happened!" Meredith squealed into the phone. Bonnie smiled lightly, already knowing what her friend was going on about. Alaric, Meredith's long time boyfriend, had proposed to her. He had taken a picture of the ring and sent it to Bonnie a few weeks ago, asking for her opinion. It was perfect, of course. Bonnie shook her head slightly in amusement, tuning back into the conversation.

"…Then he pulled out the most gorgeous ring ever! Bonnie it's perfect and I just can't believe it, I'm getting married!"

"That's great Mer, you and Alaric are perfect together." Bonnie heard Meredith clear her throat and then she continued in a calmer voice.

"Bonnie you are my best friend, even though we live on opposite sides of the country. I would really love it if you could come back and be my main of honor and help with the details. It'll only be for a month, and I totally understand if you're really busy and can only make it for only a few days, but it would mean the world to me if my best friend was here to share this with me and to help me plan it, just like when we were kids." Meredith finally took a breath and Bonnie knew she was waiting for an answer

She chewed on her bottom lip, thinking it over. She had no pressing commitments and she _was _rather lonely with only her staff and Haley to keep her company. A vacation was just what Bonnie needed, she just wasn't sure if Fell's Church was the place she wanted to take this vacation. Actually, of the places she never wanted to go again, Fell's Church topped the chart.

Meredith had a point though, they may be a whole country apart, but they were still very close. In fact, Meredith was the only person outside of her family that she hadn't severed contact with when she moved to LA. 'Maybe' she thought 'I could do with a trip back home.'

"Of course." Bonnie told Meredith. "I'll fly out early tomorrow morning and be there by late afternoon. We'll plan the grandest wedding that backwoods town has ever seen!" Bonnie said, feeling excitement well up within her at the thought of seeing her friend again.

"You will? Oh great! Bonnie it's going to be amazing, just like old times." They said their goodbyes and hung up. Bonnie sat on her bed, her hair dripping onto her designer sheets most likely ruining them. All she could think about though where Meredith's words that where echoing in her head. "Just like old time." 'Please, anything but that.' Bonnie pleaded; dread filling her along with memories she had tried hard to repress.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Bonnie asked the empty room around her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bonnie leaned over the railing of her balcony, looking down out at the sun peeking up over the mountains, lighting up the valley below her. She hoped none of the paparazzi had followed her home last night, waiting for a "good morning" shot. A picture of her in old pajama pants and a ratty sweatshirt appearing on the front cover of some magazine was drama she did not need right now. It had taken almost two hours and her promising to at least look over the script that Spielberg had sent over a week ago to let her agent travel to Fell's Church alone, and to cover for her. Damage control for a picture would set her right back to square one and Scarlett, her manager, would insist on coming alo0ng with her.

Any other time Bonnie would have welcomed Scarlett's companionship, but she knew this was something she had to do on her own. It wouldn't be easy and it sure as hell wouldn't be fun, but Meredith was counting on her; so she would go, because even after eight years in California her closest and virtually only real friend lived over 200 miles away.

Bonnie sighed as she moved away from the railing and made her way into the safety of her house. Shutting the screen door behind her she looked around and was once again hit with a pang of loneliness. Bonnie shook her head and reminded herself that she was surrounded by people. Sure they all worked for her and she couldn't understand most of them because she'd French instead of Spanish… 'I should really look into that dog.' Bonnie thought to herself, and with that she went to her room to prepare for her trip back to Fell's Church.

Bonnie stepped out of the taxi and was instantly greeted by the hot muggy air of Virginia's long summers. 'I forgot how awful the weather was here' Bonnie thought in disgust. After grabbing her luggage from the trunk and paying the taxi driver she turned around and looked up at the big white house looming in front of her. For a brief moment Bonnie thought about turning right back around and running back to California. 'Stop this' She reprimanded herself. 'Just grab your stuff walk up there. They're going to be happy to see you. They're you're-' Bonnie's thoughts were interrupted though by the loud bang of the screen door closing. Bonnie looked up at the porch and saw a woman standing in front of the screen door. She walked away from her luggage and towards the steps, clacking all the way to the top her Jimmy Choos. When she reached the top she stood a few feet away from the woman, taking in the shock evident in her eyes.

"Hey mom" Bonnie whispered, and she watched the shock fade from her mother's to be replaced with love. And she watched the smile spread across her features, making her seem younger than she had looked seconds before.

"Oh Bonnie" her mother said just as quietly as she wrapped her arms around Bonnie, and drawing her in close for an overdue hug. Bonnie buried her face in her mother's shoulder and let the tear's that had been building inside of her since she stepped out of the taxi spill over as she smelled her mother's familiar jasmine perfume surround her.


	4. Chapter 4

As she examined her new appearance in the mirror before her Bonnie realized that she was lucky her mother had even recognized her. Her stylist had done a fabulous job. She had transformed her from Bonnie McCullough: Superstar into regular Kelly Parker: Meredith's best friend from NYU-her alias for anybody who asked that wasn't family or a close friend. Bonnie's once trademark curly red hair was replaced with stick straight black locks that fell just to her shoulders. The eyes looking back at her were no longer deep brown but a sparkling, crisp blue thanks to colored contacts. Her manager was going to kill her when she found out what Bonnie had done to her precious hair, but Bonnie was taking no chances in anybody recognizing her. She hoped that the few minor changes would be enough to make her unrecognizable to the public. The last thing she wanted or needed was the press tagging along on another one of her vacations. She needed a break from her fast-paced L.A. lifestyle. Plus this was all about focusing the spotlight on Meredith and her wedding and Bonnie was thankful to hand over the limelight to someone else for a change.

Bonnie had just finished applying some light make-up when she heard her cell phone ringing from deep within her Dooney and Bourke handbag. She walked over to her bed and opened up her purse, searching blindly through her belongings and coming up with nothing. 'Too much crap' Bonnie thought and let out a frustrated sigh. The cell phone topped ringing for a second, and Bonnie almost gave up, but the ringing started up again and so she finally gave up trying and turned her bag upside letting its contents fall to the bed below. 'There you are' she thought triumphantly as she found the tiny device hiding among her lexomil, her first class boarding pass, her ipod, and the several books and magazines she had shoved into her bag for the trip. Bonnie opened up the phone just in time to catch Meredith. "I'm here," Bonnie nearly shouted into the phone.

"Oh, hi! I'm glad I caught you finally. How was your flight?"

"Long, high. I took some lexomil though, so I slept through most of it."

"That's good. So I was wondering," she continued in normal Meredith fashion-wasting no tome and getting straight to the point. "I know you're tired, but everybody's here finally and Elena has been looking forward to showing off her cooking skills and so she's put together this dinner party for tonight at the boarding house and are you available tonight?" Meredith asked in a rushed voice.

"Of course, Elena doing manual labor? I wouldn't miss it for the world." Bonnie replied with faux excitement, but Meredith seemed to buy it.

"Great! I'll see you at seven then. At the boarding house." Meredith replied, her relief that Bonnie had accepted evident in her voice.

"Seven o'clock, see you then," and with that Bonnie hung up. She looked down at her watch. It was six o'clock. 'Good, just enough time to get ready and not enough time to really think this through.' She gathered her toiletries and headed for the bathroom to take a nice relaxing shower.

Half an hour and three outfits later Bonnie was sitting in the boarding house's drive way in her parents new Prius, parked behind a familiar car. She'd been parked there for a good five minutes, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of the car.

'This is stupid, just get out of the car and go inside.' She knew she probably looked like an idiot, sitting in her car staring off into space. Something inside of her was stopping her from opening the door. Alarms were going off in head and for some reason she was terrified of what would happen once she left the safety of the car. Bonnie had actually been in a good mood once she'd showered, and she'd been looking forward to the dinner on the drive over. She'd turned into the driveway happily anticipating the night to come, but when she had parked her car and looked up from gathering her things from the seat beside her she felt gooseflesh rise on her arms and she was frozen to her seat, something deep within her saying this was a bad idea. A knock on her window however pulled her out of her reverie. She looked up, expecting to see Meredith looming outside her car, instead she was met with a pair of blue eyes that nearly matched her own and a flash of blonde hair. Elena was standing outside of her car, and suddenly Bonnie was hit with a wave of nostalgia and a familiar pang of loneliness that she pushed out of her head as she opened the door.

"Bonnie?" Elena asked.

"Yea." Bonnie choked out and nodding her head for emphasis. Elena smiled and threw her arms around the shorter girl, happy to have her friend back. Bonnie pulled away and examined her friend. She looked different; she looked happy, content. Bonnie wondered which Salvatore brother was the cause of her friend's happiness these days. Before she could ask though Elena spoke.

"I'm so happy to see you Bonnie! Eight years is too long!" She squealed with happiness. Bonnie searched for something in her eyes, something that would contradict the happiness in her eyes. It would be harder for Bonnie to hate her if she thought her friend was already miserable, but Bonnie found nothing but pure bliss in the blonde's eyes and Bonnie's hatred for her former friend grew. She suppressed the ball of anger growing sickeningly in her stomach though and went on with her performance.

"I'm sorry I haven't called. You're right, eight years is way too long." Bonnie apologized, even managing to bring a few tears to here eyes for special effect. Elena just smiled obliviously and they started towards the door.

"You're here now though. I've even cooked your favorite dish, chicken Parmesan. Oh Bonnie it's going to be divine, all of us together again! Just like old times!" Elena gushed as the opened the front door. Bonnie looked up from her Channel boots that she had deemed particularly interesting the entire time that Elena had been talking and found herself staring into a pair of familiar black eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Bonnie was pleasantly surprised that her gut reaction at the sight of Damon Salvatore had been to claw his eyes out with her perfectly manicured fingernails instead of bursting into tears. For a second she was sure he was going to open his smart-ass mouth and say something snide and rude, and she thought for a moment that she wanted him to say something. The feeling passed though and she was preoccupied the rest of the night with Meredith and wedding details to think any more of it.

Bonnie had to admit that Elena's cooking wasn't all that bad, and she might have even found herself mildly enjoying the blondes company at times during the evening. She was surprised at how easily the group had slipped back into comfort after being absent from each other's lives for so long. Bonnie thought it a testament to how true and loyal friends they had all once been, and she wondered during the course of the evening if they would ever get back what they had lost.

Their conversation drifted from Meredith and Alaric's upcoming nuptials, to Matt's new job as the high school football coach, and even Elena and Stefan's recent jaunt around the globe. Eventually, just as Bonnie had feared they would, Meredith asked about her life in California. She didn't know why she was so scared to share the information; her life was an open book to anybody who happened to pick up any tabloid or watched the talk shows her publicist scheduled her for. These were the people that she should be wanting to share the details of her life with, but she couldn't help the nagging feeling that letting them in on any part of her new life would somehow make it less hers. It was silly and irrational, but for once she had something that was totally hers and she wasn't ready to share it. Especially not with Damon or Elena.

"Oh, really busy. A lot of movies and parties. It's all rather boring actually." Bonnie said, trying to keep her answer as casual and vague as possible.

"Oh come on Bonnie! You just got done working with George Clooney in Paris, France! How can you sit there and say your life is boring?!" Meredith squealed as they all sat round the dinner table, enjoying the last few crumbs of their chocolate dessert.

"Yes, Bonnie, tell us what it's like being the hottest thing to hit Hollywood since Marylyn Monroe?" Matt added jokingly. Suddenly Bonnie felt like they were back in high school and she was about to regale them with the tale of what it was like to kiss the quarterback of the football team. It was familiar, it was normal, it was fun. Nevertheless, Bonnie was not ready to share her world with them. Maybe if she took the time to rationally analyze her feelings on why she didn't want to share the details of her life as an actress, Bonnie would realize that she was acting foolish and in short, childish. Until that time though, she decided to keep the details vague and to a minimum.

"Really you guys, it's not as big of a deal as you make it out to be." She protested

"Being number one on People magazine's top ten most beautiful people list is not nothing." Meredith replied. Bonnie quickly realized that she was not going to get out playing twenty questions with Meredith any time soon, so she decided on her next best option.

"Okay, I'll dish." Meredith and Elena's eyes lit up with anticipation and Bonnie almost felt bad for what she was about to do, almost. "Tomorrow though. I promised my folks I'd be in early, and I'd really like to be able to catch them before they head off to bed." Bonnie could see the disappointment in their eyes, but she also knew that they would understand, and would press the issue no farther. The plan didn't get rid of their questions, but did buy her time to come up with answers that would both satisfy them and keep the details to a minimum.

"Okay, but this isn't over McCullough." Meredith said as Bonnie got up and made her way to the front door.

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Bonnie said, rolling her eyes, but still smiling. Meredith got up as well and walked her to the door. "I wish I could stay longer, but I would really like to catch up with my parents for a little bit tonight yet." Bonnie apologized as she slipped on her jacket.

"Don't worry about it. Just know that I will have a detailed explanation of what it was like to make out with Brad Pitt by the end of tomorrow." Meredith stated

Despite herself, Bonnie laughed. "Very hairy." Bonnie answered with a light laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow." With that, Bonnie hugged her friend briefly and headed out the door to her car.

Bonnie found herself rifling through her purse for the second time that day, this time she was searching for her car keys, and again she found herself cursing her choice in handbags. By the time Bonnie had made it to her car she had her bag almost turned inside out, and she was about to give up when she heard a jingling from behind her. Bonnie turned are cautiously, scared of what she might find.

"Looking for these?"

"Give them back Damon." Bonnie demanded between clenched teeth. She was not in the mood to play games with him.

"What will you give me for them?" Damon asked with a stupid smirk gracing his lips.

Bonnie sighed and closed her eyes. She hoped that when she opened them again he would be gone, but unfortunately he was still standing in front of her. Bonnie gathered all of her strength and searched for something to say to him. Before she could think of anything though Damon spoke again.

"You see if I give these back to you, you might drive off again, and I'm having so much fun." Bonnie was outrage, and she decided that she could no longer be held accountable for what she was about to say.

"Funny, that's not what you said eight years when you left me alone in our apartment to go fuck Elena." When Damon just stood and looked at her for what seemed like and eternity without a word, Bonnie started to grow concerned. Then she saw the shock wears off and she thought she might have even caught a glimpse of hurt flash through his eyes. With Damon it was always hard to tell though. She knew that she had at least succeeded in pissing him off when he threw the keys at her feet and dashed off into the night at vampire speed. 'Good riddance' Bonnie thought to herself. As soon as she had unlocked her car door and climbed in though, she felt the tears prick at her eyes and suddenly she was right back to where she was all those years ago. Longing after a man she'd never have.

Author's note: Wow, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated for so long! I'm also really sorry that this chapter is so short, but I really wanted to get something out there, and I finally kind of figured out where is this story is headed, so I wanted to pick up the pace a little bit. Hopefully the updates will be more constant. Also, thank you to all my reviewers and readers. You guys totally rock!


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, tell us EVERYTHING!" Elena demanded the second the waiter at the Mystic Grill had taken their lunch orders and left to retrieve their drinks. Bonnie, still reluctant to let them into her new world, was trying to formulate the next question very carefully.

"What exactly do you want to know?" Bonnie asked, trying to decide which details to give away, and which ones to keep to herself.

"Just start from the beginning." Meredith replied like it was the most obvious choice in the world. _If only it were that simple, _Bonnie thought to herself, but she proceeded to tell her story anyway.

"Well, you already know about the modeling, and I guess it just sort of snowballed from there." Bonnie let out a nervous giggle. Meredith and Elena both looked at her expectantly and realized she couldn't think of any other people more deserving of the whole truth, than the two best friends who sat across from her. She looked around the sparsely populated restaurant, making sure there were as little observers as possible, and continued her tale. "The modeling wasn't ever something I planned. It just claimed me I suppose. I was working an afternoon shift at that crappy dinner down in Brooklyn. You know the one you visited, with the collapsing ceiling?" Elena and Meredith exchanged looks of disgust, and Bonnie took that as her cue to continue. "Sometime late in November a few years back, around closing time, an older gentleman came in looking for shelter from an awful snowstorm, and I just didn't have the heart to throw him out." Neither Meredith nor Elena made a move to comment, patiently waiting for Bonnie to continue.

"Long story short, he had connections and he set me up with an interview. He told me he loved my hair, and that I would be perfect for a modeling job he knew of. I wasn't going to go at first, but the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea. So I went, and I absolutely loved it!" Bonnie paused to take a breath, and realized that she had been flailing her arms about in excitement and both her friends were smiling at her in amusement. "Since then it's just been job after job, and I haven't really had time to breathe until recently." Her friends seemed to accept this as an apology, and their conversation quickly turned to other topics, successfully avoiding the significant other –well others in Elena's case obviously-question.

…

"Well, well, look at what we have here. The prodigal redhead returns." Damon was lounging on her bed when she returned from lunch later that afternoon. She had never wanted anything more than to go back in time and strangle her younger self for ever inviting that damn vampire into her house. _Stupid, stupid girl! Should have known he was a good for nothing inconsiderate, awful excuse for a…a _

"If you're going to insult me, just say it to my face. I hate having to dig through the jumbled mess of thoughts in that pretty little head of yours." Damon's signature smirk was in place, but his eyes didn't match the snarky tone in his voice. Bonnie didn't care though. He had no right to go through her thoughts. The inevitable demise of their half-ass relationship was his fault entirely and he damn well knew it!

"What are you doing her Damon?" She wanted to scream until his ears bled; hoping then he'd finally show her a shrewd of compassion and leave her alone. She didn't though, losing control over her senses in front of Damon never ended well.

"Just wanted to visit with an old friend, we didn't get a chance to chat last night." Damon lazily drawled out the words as he continued to lie on her bed, propped up against the head board. Chat? He wanted to fucking chat? After all the despicable, low, awful things he'd done and he wanted to chat about it? Bonnie could feel the toe-curling rage rise farther inside of her. She could practically feel the steam pouring from her ears. _Fuck it!_

"How dare you? How dare you sit there and act like nothing ever happened? Like you never screwed around with my best friend while we were together?" Bonnie's voice was low and dripping with deep anger that had been buried for many years. Her anger was not the usual loud and out of control entity that normally took her over when she was upset. It was controlled and hard. Damon's eyes shot open and he stood up from the bed so fast Bonnie nearly missed the action entirely. She thought maybe she had angered him enough and he was about to leave. Instead he stood in front of her, looking down at her almost as if he'd never seen her before in his entire life. Like she was a stranger.

"Is that really what you think? I mean I heard you say it last night, but I never imagined you truly believed it." Bonnie was more than slightly confused. Damon never denied the truth, especially if it involved Elena. If Damon had gotten Elena to admit she truly cared for him more than his brother he'd flaunt it to anyone who would listen, and that would not exclude Bonnie, no matter how much he claimed to care for her. Bonnie knew this; she knew he was a proud man, so why was he standing her denying his affair with the perfect Elena?

Damon continued to stare at her in awe. He looked as if he was searching for something inside her eyes, but what he was after Bonnie didn't know. After a few more moments Damon seemed to give up his search, and a spark of defeat started to grow in his eyes. He dropped his eyes from hers and turned to leave. He had one leg out of her bedroom window when Bonnie opened her mouth and spoke.

"Wait. Don't…just wait a second." Bonnie took in a breath and saw him turn around quickly, but his eyes still held a whisper of…sadness? Bonnie slowly let out her deep breath.

"We should talk." It was not a conversation she was looking forward to, but Bonnie had questions, and she be damned if she let him walk out without answering them.

A/N: Wow, I owe a massive apology and thank you to all my readers and reviewers. I never meant to go this long without updating, but I have gotten some more motivation and a lot more free time now that some of my classes are coming to a close, I hope to update more frequently. Thank you to all who continued to read and review this story even though I haven't been properly updating in quite some time. Thank you so much, you are amazing!


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